She Decided…

Today is the day I have been waiting to be able to share. Today, I can announce to you that I have quit my job, am moving down to the Texas hill country and going to pursue my dreams of being an artist! Although I have loved my job and all the people there – it was no longer the place for me. A new chapter has begun for me, and it needs to be one that honors Drew to the fullest. That means living my dreams the way he lived his, because no other direction in my life could ever honor him as fully. This was his dream for me, and my dream for myself. No decision in my life has ever felt so right. A friend of mine shared this little visual story with me recently, and I so resonated with it… it is my story now…

Something happens when you lose everything your world was built around. Maybe it’s true what they say about how when you lose everything you find yourself – I guess I do feel like that a bit. I’ve already experienced the worst pain the world can throw at me – pain so deep and so insurmountable at times that it has felt like I would die from it. But I am still here, and I am more determined than ever. He was right from the very beginning when he said that I am “titanium”. I didn’t know it before – but I do now. I feel like he left me with parts of himself, his best qualities infused in me somehow. His confidence, his self assured nature, his courage – all of these are a part of who I am now. I’m bulletproof, and as long as he is in my heart I will not fall.

So now here I am with a crystal clear vision and a determination like never before. I know the thing I was put on this earth to do now – to make beautiful things that make a difference in people’s lives. That is my passion. I am very excited to share with all of you the journey that lies ahead for me. I will be staying with Drew’s parents until I figure out my next steps – and am immensely grateful as I could not be doing this without their support. They are a godsend.

The next exciting part of this news to share is that I have also found a part time job at an art gallery in Bee Cave, just west of Austin! I will be surrounded by art and get to talk to people about art all day long. And I will have the chance to sell some of my own art there in the gallery too! I cannot imagine a more perfect path to follow right now.

So here’s to a new chapter – it is not the one I wanted or the one I would have chosen, but it is something in the midst of an abyss of sorrow… it is a way to begin to heal and a way to begin to find joy. I do not believe that bad things happen for a reason in our lives… but I do believe in making good reasons out of those bad things. And that is what I intend to do. To Drew… Thank you my dear, you have changed my life in more ways than I could have ever thought possible and you still are. You are the greatest gift I could have ever been given in my time here on earth. We may not be able to live out our dreams together like we imagined, but I promise I am going to live mine – for me… and for you.