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Week 4 // The Gateway


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This week’s self portrait comes from a feeling that I think we all have when we lose someone we dearly love. I can’t count the times since my fiancé died that I have imagined a place like this… a gateway that could somehow reach across the realms. A place where I could pass into his world, even if just for a moment. I’m sure everyone envisions this sort of threshold in different ways. For me, it looks like this. Some of the journaling I’ve done to describe this epxierence reveals more of my personal views…

“I often imagine what it would be like if I stumbled on a sacred doorway to the other side and cautiously walked through the threshold… what would it be like? It would be a still, sacred place with an air of mystery around it. A space deeply connected to nature, so much so that even the trees have bowed in unison with its purpose. I wonder what it would look like as I stepped through to the other side? Would it look just like woods here, only filled with those I love who have passed on? Would I see him standing there, through the trees, and would we sit down together on a fallen log and share all the adventures we have both had since we last saw each other?

Or would it look like something entirely different – would I have no arms or legs at all? Would we be but two ambient forces flowing in a vast, open plain? Would there be no words, or any need for words? In this version, our spirits infuse more and more closely until we eventually become as one – the very original of how we began. Both of these visions give me hope. They help me see how beautiful it will be to share of my life on earth when I return to the ones I love on the other side.”

How do you imagine a gateway like this to be? Is it somewhere specific, does it look or feel a certain way to you? What do you imagine it to be like on the other side if you stepped through that portal? How does make you feel to imagine sharing with those who have passed on about your life here on earth since you last saw each other? What sort of stories will you have to share?

Personally, I think its so valuable to form our own individual stories of these aspects of death. It helps me to keep my sights on what’s important… allows me focus on the kind of stories I want to create in my life – so that I have a grand tale to tell him about this life of mine when we meet again.

It serves as a reminder that our journey with those who have died is not over. We are merely on a long trip apart. Our job while still on earth is to live a life so rich and full that we arrive back home overflowing with grand stories of adventure and bravery and love… especially love. Stories that we will sit down and tell to our loved ones – or that they will infuse into their own being – and their souls will shine to see how boldly we have met life… to see that no matter how much pain we endured, we never let it stand in the way of our greatness.

If you’re new to this project, you can read more about it in this post.
Please share
 with anyone who you feel can relate to the imagery, my hope is that it gives many others a visual for something they are going through in their own lives.

11 Comments Post a comment
  1. Claudia #

    What a gorgeous image! I love the bright light streaming in from the other side and the verbal image you paint describing your excitement to share stories of adventures in life and afterlife. <3 <3 <3

    Monday, February 24, 2014
    • Thank you!! =) I am finding all kinds of amazing shoot locations out on the ranch, could so literally not be doing this without ya!

      Monday, February 24, 2014
  2. Powerful self-portrait…speechless, Sarah. Deeply touching post…*whoa* xoxo

    Monday, February 24, 2014
    • Thank you SO much Alisa… truly, that means the world to me <3

      Monday, February 24, 2014
  3. queenofkrafts #

    Really beautiful thoughts Sarah. I’m blown away by the portraits so far. Keep them coming… x

    Monday, February 24, 2014
    • Thank you so much Debra! I’m so glad, please share with anyone you feel they might resonate with – I feel very strongly about these photos for some reason getting “out there”. =) Thank you for your support!

      Monday, February 24, 2014
  4. This is so beautiful Sarah. The photo, your words, everything. I cannot imagine how painful your loss must be but you are so strong and doing such amazing things. You’re such an inspiration :)

    Tuesday, February 25, 2014
    • Thank you so much for stopping by to read & support me Michaela – you rock! <3

      Wednesday, February 26, 2014
  5. Love and death have long been topics that battle in my head and confuse me so deeply. I’m a Christian, and there’s a lot of vague hints in the Bible but nothing solid. In the story of the rich man and the poor man who both die, they recognize each other in the afterlife. Does that mean they’re humanoid? No, but they knew each other. But then there are other verses that say things like “no one is married or given in marriage” in heaven – what does that mean? I’ve always agreed that love is about some higher power, but at the same time I don’t know how. After life do we have feelings at all? As a writer I feel a need for things like sadness and pain, without them would we know love?

    I was up last night being all existential and this reminded me of my thoughts. It’s such a vast and confusing idea. The afterlife and eternity, wtf is that? I feel like you must know so much more than I do.

    Wednesday, March 12, 2014
    • What an awesome comment. Thank you so much. I often yearn to have discussions about stuff like this. I think really it is whatever we decide for ourselves… what I have decided for myself is to enjoy the sort of cheesy imagery of, say, Drew hanging out in heaven with my mom and dad, or having a beer with a friend of his who died many years back… it is a nice notion, a fun notion. It makes me smile. But my reality of what I believe is more that when we die, our personality is left here and our soul is what goes on… and that when we are on earth, our bodies only inhabit a small portion of our full soul that is always back “home”. My feeling is that in a way, we are all just slightly different fluid souls back in that space, and infusing around with each other, partnering up with certain souls to go on journeys here on earth together.

      Its just one of many many ideas, but its become the one that fits with me the most now.

      If you want to read a really interesting book on the soul and afterlife, DEFINITELY pick up Gary Zukav’s Seat of the Soul. It has been one of the deepest and coolest books I’ve read in years. And also took me forever to read lol, as some of it is very hard to grasp. You’d really love it I think.

      Thanks for this!

      Wednesday, March 12, 2014

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